"Was it the enchanting Celtic music casting a pagan spell on me or was it something inside me that was finally finding a voice? NPR’s Celtic Show was playing in the background and I was inventorying ideas for my husband's birthday. I knew of only two things he really wanted: a Harley and pictures of me. I laughed at both when he would mention either “gift.” At the time he mentioned these, the idea of me taking any kind of intimate portraits was as remote as that (I’m guessing) $20,000 that would buy him a Harley. But alas, on that one Sunday evening while I listened to the peaceful Irish ballads the idea of pictures began to take hold.

It just seemed like suddenly I considered the idea now as a real option…well maybe. With my husband's birthday almost two months away and my bank account shy about $20,000, I thought I’d see what photographers I could find. There are so many considerations when a woman is looking for intimate pictures that I wanted to first see what was out there and then I’d start eliminating the freaks.

Hmm…how does one begin looking for these kinds of pictures? If you’re in Colorado, you first look in The Independent. I had a copy lying around and picked it up looking for, what’s him name, Charles? I’d seen the ad, but couldn’t remember the name. Phone book! Looked through there. Nope, didn’t see anything that caught my eye. Boy, wedding pictures are all the rage, aren’t they?

Next search – the Internet. “Colorado Springs photographers” Yep, a whole list came up. Guess my only option at this point is to start clicking through the pages. And so I hit upon a few that had links to “boudoir” or “intimate” photographs. What I saw were galleries of young college-age girls taking pictures that said either “Look at me, I’m so hot,” or “Look at me, I’m your next movie star.” There were pictures of young women in provocative poses, playing with themselves, or giving the age-old “come hither” look. I wasn’t offended or disgusted, but I wasn’t looking to recreate any bedroom scenes.

I wasn’t sure what I was looking for exactly, but at 41 years old, the ol’ college girl model wanna-be was not it. Then I hit on a link that advertised “artistic nude photography.” I passed the hyperlink several times in the list of photographers mentally mocking, “Yeah, call it what you want…” After three or four passovers, I finally decided to give the guy or gal a try and clicked. What I came upon was photography by Kenneth Wajda, which upon first glance I knew it was exactly what I had in mind even though, as I said before, I didn’t have anything really defined.

What I saw was art. It wasn’t boudoir, intimate, or anything remotely close to what the other sites offered. It was beautiful, and that’s about the only word I can come up with to describe the nudes on his site. I was engrossed immediately. After I spent a considerable amount of time musing over the pictures in his online galleries where the experience was similar to a trip to the museum looking at impressionist art, walking around the room three or four times taking in the beauty, the detail, the stroke of the brush, the dot of paint in just the right spot, I finally came to and read the message regarding his nude photography. As I mentioned, I had some concerns.

In the message, he came right out and said all the things any woman should be thinking about when looking for a photographer to take nude photographs…no touching…only verbal directions…a model release much different from other photographers (yeah, since you're paying him then the rights to the pictures are yours – go figure)…his goal is to create art, etc.

Next day I emailed, we talked, and I set up a day to come see his studio. He sounded nice, he wrote professionally in his emails, he said all the right things, but given the fact that I was gonna take off all my clothes in front of this guy I had to meet him. If after meeting him I decided he was some kind of freak, then I guess I’d stop by the Harley Davidson shop on the way home – maybe I could get my husband some boots.

If my 19-year old daughter did what I did the week before my scheduled shoot I would absolutely wring her neck. I took off to Westcliffe to meet a man at his studio…oh, and yeah, I forgot to tell a friend or my sister exactly who he was or forward the directions to his place on to anyone. I knew during the whole drive I was a nut, stupid, crazy…not only for not telling anyone where I was going, but the idea was starting to sink in…was I really going to do this?

Obviously things went well during our initial visit or I wouldn’t be writing this. The day of the shoot came and a friend said she’d go with me and we’d hike around the area afterwards. We drove to Westcliffe, I signed my release, and then it was time to get started. For an instant, I considered backing out, which I’m sure would have been fine, but I also felt like I could really go through with this as Ken never gave me any impression during our initial communication or meeting that this was anything but art, photography, business for him, my own idea, and I was in control.

Of course I was nervous; however, I told myself what I already knew was to be true, this was my body, a suit of skin, and that’s all. Why was I doing this I asked myself for the hundredth time? I was doing this for myself as well as for my husband. He’d get some wonderfully artistic photos for his birthday that I would not be ashamed of if he chose to display them in his house, and I knew I’d get something too. I just didn’t know what.

I came out from behind the screen with the hint of self-consciousness still looming over me. As promised, Kenneth was a safe distance, attended to lights, and gave verbal directions since I left the poses up to him. I appreciated the reality of his promise. Because of this, within about 15 minutes I was at ease, and knew I would get something great from this experience.

After the first hour and a half, Ken downloaded a set of pictures and showed them to me. Here was my gift. I liked what I saw. I liked my body. I wasn’t what I saw in the mirrors at home. The poses, the abstracts, they showed my body to be something very pleasing to me. And now as I preview my gallery, choosing just the right photo for my husband, I am still pleased, happy with my decision, and very much at peace.

My friend and I didn’t get to hike that day because of snow. On the drive home I turned to her and said “I posed nude today, what’d you do?”

On seeing the photos:
Thank you Ken! I am very happy with the pictures."

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